My ex and I have been separated for the past year....I called it quits because it's been really tough for me. We had a long distance relationship and whenever two people are in a relationship, TRUST is one of the main factors that keeps the relationship. I trusted him of course, hindi naman ako makakatagal sa long distance relationship kung wala akong tiwala diba?

I wanted us to be OPEN to one another (meaning walang tinatago whatsoever). Ganun naman talaga dapat. He was the type of guy that hated explaining. Well, common sa mga lalaki yun....Ako naman, syempre, babae, gusto ko na naririnig ko from him that we were okay.

Throughout our relationship, he makes kwento but not so much. Of course, when you love the person, you want to 'wholly' be a part of his life. My life is an open book to every one I love. I choose the people whom I want to share my life with and I consider those people solid as family. Meaning, 'I have a choosen few'....

We broke-up I think, June of 2009, why? Simply because I knew before hand that he was coming and he did not tell me. Guys, lesson lang. Girls will do everything to snoop on you, we have our ways of knowing. Napadpad siya dito at umalis ng hindi nagpakita sakin. Okay...that was always our problem. I saw the lack of EFFORT in him. Sa tagal ng pinagsamahan namin, I was very forgiving. I always tried to understand things that he did not explain. I asked all the time but he never had answers. I accepted the lack of answer simply because I love him.

I always asked this close friend of ours. I asked her 'Bakit ganun? Bakit hindi siya nag-eeffort sakin?' All she answered was 'Kilala mo naman yun diba? Malihim'. So okay....I swallowed my pride and let it drift away.

Now, it's almost mid-year, it's June 2010. I've finally decided to move forward. It's been exactly a year. Does it mean hindi ko na siya mahal? No. I do love him still. Kahit na we haven't communicated for so long already, may hinanakit pa rin ako because I wanted him to disprove na hindi siya nag-effort sakin. It's been a year. I heard nothing from him.

What triggered me to do this? I was bored one day, I was browsing FB and ang galing, It was really magaling....I was browsing a profile of a friend and because of boredom, the first girl profile that I clicked on made me saw the light. I read a comment that made me cry. He sent flowers to a girl. He never did that to me. Whatever the reason for sending, kesyo may sakit pa siya or what, ang nagmatter is that he was concerned and he made an effort to send flowers.

It hurts a lot to know this. Kahit na wala na kami, things like that made me pity myself. For a year, umaasa ako lagi na somehow magkakabalikan pa kami, pero I now know that it will never ever happen. I was never introduced as a girlfriend, therefore I do not exist.

Isa pa yan sa mga issue na masakit sa loob ko. Never akong pinakilala sa mga kaibigan niya. He wasn't proud of me. Long distance kami, pero lahat ng friends ko kilala siya. Hindi ako kilala ng mga kaibigan niya sa Cavite. It's quite unfair really.

Letting go of you never meant I found another person. Moving on does not mean replacing you. It was never like that. Moving on simply means letting go of the things that hurts me. Protecting my self from shattering to pieces. I don't need a new boyfriend to tell the world that I have moved on.

Alam ko, bukas siguro may bago ka ng Girlfriend. I want you to know that I am sincerely HAPPY for you. May she be the person that will give you long lasting happiness. May she be the girlfriend that I never was.

Your friends' account and your account that was connected to my 'deactivated account' reminds me of everything that happened to us. You met Jam before I met her. Of course, ikaw ang pinagtatangol niya. Her loyalty will always be with you. It's about time that Jam lets go of me too. Everything has to stop in one way or another. Anyways, I never existed as your girlfriend. What difference will it make? Before I met you, we all lived happily, what difference will it make to lose contact? Nothing. Everything is back to the way it was before.

I'm okay. I'm learning to be better. I'm learning to be happy again. My friends keep me sane. My friends keep me happy. Happiness lang naman nating lahat ang nagmamatter ngayon. So let's all be happy.