I saw Mio's ad for the benefit concert...and it reminded me of cancer...
Cancer...I don't know why it exists...but definitely, it's a pain in the ass...
iniisip ko how this little child survived all the treatment...kung ako yun, I would have had easily 'let go'
it's physically painful, it's emotionally painful, might as well die as early as possible...akin lang yun...thinking out loud...
it's the will to live that lets cancer patients survive...without the will, there's nothing...
I am practically speechless...my thoughts are scattered and I don't know what to write
I'm just thankful maybe for everything....for the life extension given to me....and of course to all those who have been given another year to waste...hahaha =)))
(8:01 AM)
Mio was my student last year...let's help him in our own little ways by watching the benefit concert...
Monday, September 14, 2009 (7:08 AM)
sorry
sorry
sorry...
five-letters...it meant so much to tear me apart
why?
why did you have to say sorry?
I cried everytime you typed that word
"All I can say is sorry"
"...you don't need to say sorry, I love you that much, it's okay..."
"sorry for all the heartaches"
"...you don't need to say sorry, I love you that much, it's okay..."
was it bad to love you? All I wanted to do was to make you feel that I'm here for you and I'll be your partner in crime...for better or for worse...I guess you didn't want me...I didn't see the effort...I just had to give up and face defeat...
the moment you said sorry, it was that sign that I should give you up....
saying sorry means you're guilty of something
it means you know you did something wrong....
I guess you were guilty of everything...
to you, I was one of them...
I said this was the end...because I want to keep a good memory of us....when everything was happy...when everything was okay....when all I thought of was you and how much I loved you...
and there's no turning back now...only moving forward...
it hurts a lot that you said sorry
you didn't love me as much and that's a fact....the moment you said sorry
Monday, September 7, 2009 (5:04 AM)
I'm gonna keep this blog updated as possible...starting today
I was thinking...I wanna reconcile with a past lover....just so to prove to him that he was wrong...I hope he gets my message....it will be my greatest challenge to date....to win him back
I'm lowering my pride and swallowing everything....will he take me back? I don't know....but I'm fine anyways....maybe I miss him...I miss the way he loved me....I miss how he used to serenade me all the time
I miss the way he scolded me....I miss the way he cared for me....I just miss everything about him....I hope I'll see him on the next long weekend....
Thursday, June 25, 2009 (7:02 AM)
I'm hurting so badly....so bad....I can't even admit it to myself that I am...I just keep a happy exterior para hindi na ko tanungin ng mga tao...
it's so hard...I'm crying over a person who doesn't even know I am crying....I miss him so much but I just can't tell him....there's no reason for him to know anyways....
I'm just hurting....the pain is consuming me...all the more that I'm getting sick...
awhile ago, while inside the car...I was praying to him...I said, I won't complain on to how I'll die na...if he can get me already, I wish he would...my body is really on the verge of breaking....and I think it's only a matter of time now....
the sadness of not talking to him all the more makes me want to just sleep for eternity....sino nga ba niloko ko di ba? as if naman na ganun lang kadali lahat...
bahala na si batman....
Friday, June 19, 2009 (2:37 AM)
just had my shot awhile ago....pffftttt...I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT HEALTH!!!! hahaha :p
I'm on the road to recovery...mind, body, and spirit...that is.....nevertheless....I'm thinking positive....I won't sulk in whatever....just good vibes and more happiness to come :)
people really just come and go.....either way, you leave them behind or they are the ones who'll leave you.....along the way, if someone hurts you too much....the SMARTEST thing to do is to move on with your life and leave those who hurt you badly.....suffering is humane but it's not everyday that people suffer.....I don't even know why I was punished....wala naman akong ginawang masama....kasalanan ba na magmahal? but from now on....I won't sulk...I'll just think they never existed and they never came to my life...that way, it'll be better....
Wednesday, June 17, 2009 (1:11 AM)
it's been awhile since I've visited this...mejo inaamag na tong blogger ko...hahaha :]] anyways...I'll update this thing from now on....
yesterday, I found the akomismo tv ad of my good friend & co-teacher, KA...I'm sooo proud of KA, hahaha :]]
ayan...wala lang...anyways...hmmmm...what to talk about....
I've been having discussions over the past few weeks with some close friends about my life....now, actually, I'm really thinking positive...trying as much to have a positive air in me....I try not to think about the negative things....I try to smile even if sometimes I'm feeling down....
I don't know...I am depressed....I don't know why.....maybe because there are some realizations that I can't comprehend....there are so many what if's in my head....sometimes....I just want to sleep and think blankly....
teacher kate was asking about my ex awhile ago, what happened to us, and if there is no chance of us re-uniting....too many questions....too soon.....
I've loved him, of course, I did....it never worked-out between us because while we were together, he bluntly admits that he still thinks of his ex....that girl who left him for some guy....we were together and yet he was still thinking of his ex...
it was too painful for me...when you love someone, you always see to it that you give 100 and more percent to your other half....I did that exactly, but what did I get in return? he was only giving me half of his heart...
sabi nga nila, pag 'ex' na ang pinag-usapan, talo ka na....that was what exactly happened to us....so I said to teacher kate, "teach, nung kami pa nung ex ko, issue samin yung ex niya, hindi nag-work out yung amin kasi mahal niya pa...."
-------what i realized-----------
love was never my forte...up until now (-_-) hahaha
haaaayyyy.....I'm sick and dead tired of everything......
